A Letter To My Past Self: Life Lessons from 2015

Photo credits: Charles Duque

2015

      Life is a series of continuous trial and errors. If it's one thing I've learned, it's that failures are not reflective of who we are as individuals; they're inevitable and are just something we have to deal with unfortunately. In a sense, it can sometimes become more of a blessing than a curse. But life will never be like play doh. We will never be able to perfectly mould it the way we want it to. It's more like puzzles where we are not be able to see or understand the full picture unless effort is made into putting the pieces together and making the best of what we have.

     Over the course of this year, I've learned and grown from some major mistakes and they have become life lessons that have stuck to me and shaped who I am today. Of course I would like to share them with you guys because sharing is caring. And yes, many of these are common sense but are often things we tend to overlook. I'm sure many of you all know most of this but it's good to have some reinforcement, right? Of course many factors have played a part on how I was able to draw on to these conclusions and they won't necessarily be applicable to everyone such as personal opinions that are based on experiences, perspective, and way of thinking, which will differ for each individual.


Lesson #1.



Take it easy. Don't be too hard on yourself.

 -  We're not superhuman nor will we ever be. Being limited and flawed, there is only so much we can accomplish due to constraints of time. Therefore, take pride in what you have accomplished and achieved.
 -   For example, if you got a bad mark in school, so what? That's not representative of you. Think of that dreadful experience as a way to reinforce humility. Failure is not only the key to success but it is such a humbling experience and a good way to keep your ego in check. As long as you're continuously trying and striving to do your best, you will succeed.

Lesson #2.

The Pursuit of Happiness
 
   - Doing things for yourself first before you give to other people doesn't always necessarily make you selfish, it just means you know what you want. Do what makes you happy and forget what everyone else thinks because who cares? It's your life and people opinions will not impact your life as long as you choose not to let it. 
 
 - If you're in a place where you're not committed to anything such as a relationship or a career, take that time to focus on yourself. Find the courage to explore the world or try something you wouldn't normally do. Above all, if you're stuck in a bad situation, have the courage to follow your own convictions, because you deserve to be happy. No one knows what's best for you but yourself.
 
Lesson #3.

Reflect.

-   Reflections are powerful as it can enrich your understanding of your own experiences. It will also play a key part in changing your worldview or perspective, contributing to personal growth and learning.
 -  Reflecting on good or bad past experiences/relationships can become more valuable when you have thought them through and made sense of them, especially when you're asking yourself Why did it not work out? and what will I do differently in my next relationship? or What do I want and what am I looking for?


Lesson #4.

Set attainable goals

  - Setting the bar too high will lead to undesirable outcomes. Just don't do it. Know your limits and set goals that are practical.

 - Like for me, five shots is my limit and I'm done. Having more than 5 shots I will become a puke machine. Anything more than 5 shots is not attainable for me.


Lesson #5. 

Playing around.

- Fooling around is all fun and games but if you're ever going to play around, know your limits and what you're getting yourself into. If it's something you enjoy, then who's to say what you're doing is wrong? It's your life, live it!

- Before you even get into anything, define that relationship. If both you and your partner are just stringing each other along for your own entertainment, before you know it you will become tangled into a not-so-hot mess. Along the way, sometimes we may forget the other person is human. Have consideration for each others feelings; be respectful.

Lesson #6.



Let it go.

   -  To all the relationships that have caused destruction or pain in your life and to all the good relationships that were once precious and memorable but have now dissipated, I know it's one of the most difficult but obvious thing to do, but learn to let it go. Time is pretty good in making it easier to do that, so have patience. Life has strange ways of offering something better and in my opinion, nothing lasts forever. In cherishing the good memories/relationships (e.g., friendships) and not taking them for granted, it's all we can do in our present situation as change is beyond our control. Letting go paves way to better things and perhaps creates something even greater than ourselves.

Happy 2016! May this year be full of many learning experiences and memories, good or bad.